STOP SETTLING

Hey Lovers,

I hope you are all are fab. I do hope you all are going for the goals you set yourself at the beginning of the year , if not, start now. its been overwhelming , in a good way may i add , i am grateful.

As i randomly do, I am sitting/laying on my bed, reading a few things as I do, then I came across the thought which brought on todays post, hence me grabbing my phone and typing away.

 I read a quote by Tony Gaskins, who is a motivational speaker, life coach and all that.  Inserted below:

"Stop Settling

Being cheated on is not normal.

Being controlled is not normal.

Being abused is not normal.

Sharing your partner sexually with the community is not normal.

Threesomes are not normal.

Crying more than you smile is not normal.

Breaking up to make up all the time is not normal.

Stop Suffering and Settling."

@TonyGaskins

 Now after reading this, i took a minute to ponder on  it and thought, i had to share this... And its deep. its a message most people, men and women need to hear more and more . Settling! Its  becoming the norm...  We live in a  generation of " i'll rather be with him/her and unhappy ".    

Also when one  shares a  post like this people think you're sad or lonely lol quite the oposite actually, i remember when i was newly single and everyone who knew me was interested in my love life mostly with good intentions, and will try to ' hook' me up . oh there was an influx of men lol. But I was  guarded up and would screen that person , then maybe speak or get to know the person , and most cases even before i get to know the person really deeply, i cut them off ., I see something i wont have  and its easier to let go than try. I must emphasise that it was easy because there wasnt any relationship forming yet, this would be the " lets get to know each other stage" . I was called fussy and picky. What most didnt know was i always said i wouldnt settle, and by settle i meant, i wouldnt settle for ANYTHING  just to have something. Does that make sense? Yes? Then you must know that  non -settlers always  have the best in the end, believe me on this. As  the saying goes  " the patient dog eats the fattest bone". I am a living testimony. You can be too.

I can only relate with my personal life so pardon me if i refer to myself constantly, experience they say is the best teacher.

Most  people in my life past and present would find it hard  to believe but i was single for a  while by choice mostly , and i was genuinely  happy because this allowed me time to find my true self ,to be happy with myself being alone as a person then pass on or share that love with  another. . My motivation has always been one; Never settle for less . And two; Do as you would want your daughter/son ( this is another huge one, maybe in my book. Explained in details. Single parenting and dating, bringing a new partner around your kids, my personal rule on that. Strict but it worked out well in the end )

Not wanting to 'Settle' does not mean picky. Is it picky to not want to be with a cheat, an abuser, or a control freak? No. So dont ever advise anyone you know to settle for less than they deserve and this includes as with everything in life. Know what you want and go for it. I also maintain that no one is perfect and you would never find any perfect man or woman but my goodness open your eyes, choose your battle. Wether you can be happy with someone  who snores is incomparable to being with someone who will damage your emotional wellbeing.

I do have intentions to write more ( a book in the future) on dating especially dating  for single women ( parents) . But for now, be it a single parent, non parent, young or old. Be patient!

Finally to  the " Christians"Who come at everything with the bible , remember christians in quote, let me tell you, that life( living unhappy and setling for less) is not what God wanted for you😄Read your bible more to understand how the life HE designed you to live is nothing but a happy one!


Thanks for reading, feel free to leave a comment  and share .

Till my next post,

Love and light  xx

Toke