Tuesday 17 November 2015

Reflections




Hello lovers,

Todays post is just a random quick thought for many self-critics, like myself , dont get me wrong, its not totally a bad thing to self-doubt, to critisize one'self , and more often  self critic are very hard on themselves... This is ok, but there is a time to stop and reflect. This should not be confused for self esteem, totally different!.... Where was i?  Yeaaaa 😀

You are exactly where you need to be.

Nobody is where they want to be when they first begin.as we go through  our lives and as we really start to initiate our real lives, a life filled with making moves towards becoming a success and maintaining levels of happiness, we soon realise that getting to our dream is a step by step process.

No one can go through life and maintain a successful happiness without maintaining the deligent 'be yourself mindset'  throughout it.

Remember that each day is a new day and instill in your mind that though you may not necessarily be where you want to be , at least you are making strides towards becoming the person that you trully want to become.

Take each step as it comes and live everyday as best as you can, this might be the oldest of cliches but the truest. Eventually you will be at the top of each mountain you attempted to climb , keep pushing. Theres always a light at the end of every tunnel.

Love and Light... X
Toke

Wednesday 7 October 2015

F.L.Y : First, Love yourself


Hey Lovers,

Its been a minute...post have not been up as much as I would love to but here i am now :)

This weeks post is somewhat personal yet generic... First, Love yourself! Enjoy xoxo

I had a thought yesterday when i read a quote and it was: “The only unrequited love that truly exists is towards ourselves.”

Just for some of my readers who dont know what this term is :     Unrequited love or one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the beloved. The beloved may not be aware of the admirer's deep and strong romantic affection or consciously reject it. The Merriam Webster Online Dictionary defines unrequited as "not reciprocated or returned in kind." ... Thank you google dictionary lol. 

Moving on.....

It seems, so much in our lives, we can experience this sense of love unreturned to us by those we want it from.

You’re a lover; I’m a lover; we’re all lovers in some form. Deep down all we want is to love and be loved in return. That’s the true pulse of the human condition.

Regarding, romantic love specifically, I find it funny (and at times PAINFUL) the dance we all dance. It’s like Girl A likes Boy B, but Boy A likes Girl A, and Girl B likes Boy A. I know, that confused me, too. I just think it’s funny how many times we desire the one that doesn’t want us, or that isn’t the best one for us. And yet, at the same time, we have little to no interest in people who desire us. This obviously isn’t how it always is, but I find this trend is common

It’s really easy to get bummed when someone you really like in that way, doesn’t like you back in that way. You know what I’m talking about – you desire them and they think of you only as a friend or still searching their “feelings”... Yeah – the friend zone. It happens to the best of us, men and women and not only that, we are also perpetrators of putting people who like us in the friend zone. It’s a two-way street.

BUT! When we forget to Love Ourselves, when we forget The Universe is on our side and wants us to thrive. When we love ourselves, we remember that rejection is protection. When we love ourselves we are careful whom we give our hearts to. When we love ourselves, we see every event of our lives as lessons and know that there are no shortages in The Universe. We know that if it doesn’t work out with that someone you had your eye on, or that job you really wanted, something greater is on the way. This is True.

When we love ourselves and are filled with this love; it’s nearly impossible to feel unrequited love from someone else. It’s only when we have given that person power over our lives and control over our emotional well-bring that we can feel unrequited love from them. Feeling unrequited love from someone is a symptom of low self-esteem and a misalignment with your power.

So, if you’re feeling this way, take your power back today. Put your trust in the things that The Universe has in store for you. Let go a little and see what’s next. There is no shortage in The Universe. There is someone perfect for you out there and they will find you as you become more and more of your authentic self. The Key is Authenticity

When you are feeling the low vibrations of unrequited love, don’t go chasing after it from other
people. STOP, check in within yourself and be still. If you seek out the path of trying to fill yourself up from other people or substances, you will only make it worse. Take care of yourself. Do you! Stay in your power and do things that nurture your heart and soul.

This is what I mean when I say, “The only unrequited love that truly exists is towards ourselves.” When we love ourselves, we are not seeking others to fill us and we are free to detach and welcome in the perfect person in the perfect time. And in the meantime, we fill ourselves up so that we have the serenity and joy – so we can step into savoring the waiting, instead of dreading it.

 Take your power back, love yourself !

Love and light.... X

Toke

Saturday 15 August 2015

The Good Stress

                   
“A diamond is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well.” – Unknown
Many times I find myself sitting, in thoughts, one time it was just after I Quit a job I thought I’d probably spend the rest of my life doing because it was just that great. Assessing my feelings of stupidity, anger, fear and dissapointment...in myself .
But I didn’t feel any of these things. Instead, I felt an unexplainable happiness—like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. When the shock of the moment wore off, I realized why I was so happy; all of a sudden, anything was possible!
It had been years since I’d tried something new. It’d been years since I’d taken a risk on myself. It’d been years since I’d actually felt alive. And this moment had snapped me out of it.
So, sitting there in my car that day, faced with no idea what my life was going to look like starting tomorrow, I asked myself a simple question:
What would my life be like if I did something that scared me every single day?
One year passed and I’m relatively convinced it’s the best question I ever asked. Taking up different opportunities big or small, adventuring with my livelihood haha, pushing my body physically and testing my own limits.
None of these things were comfortable—quite the opposite, actually, but they were all worth the effort.

Giving Stress a Good Name

I think it’s been a while since stress has gotten a fair shake. It’s no four-letter word—literally or figuratively—and for the bad rap it’s gotten in ruining lives, it’s also reaffirmed just as many.

Stress doesn’t come in just one flavor; it comes in two. Most of us are keenly aware of the kind we  feel when we’re under pressure to do something we don’t want to do for people we don’t want to do it for. It makes us lethargic, tense, and irritable.
But we’re not always as quick to recognize when that same force is making us happy, energetic, and healthier.
Stress isn’t good or bad, it just is. What we need is less bad stress and more good. But where does good stress come from?
In my case, it comes from doing difficult and uncomfortable things that also make me happy. It comes from a curiosity about things in my life that take hard work to learn about and explore

What I’ve found is the difference between good and bad stress depends entirely on the direction it’s 
applied.

When I work hard and worry about something that isn’t important to me, it takes a lot out of me. But. 
 when I work hard and apply myself towards something I care about—when I take a risk on something important to me—it adds a great deal to my enjoyment of life.
What I’ve learned, ultimately, is that stress can be a positive thing, and the times that I learn the most and am the happiest with my life are also the times when I step outside my comfort zone and take a risk on something that’s meaningful to me.

Serenity and Pushing your limits

Last year I took a challenge or some might call it a risk where I ran a half marathon, something I'd 
never done before, infact the closest thing I had done prior was a 5k, but remember this was about testing my own limits.

There were lots of complications while I trained, but I never felt like I was doing the wrong thing.
Should a life well lived always be in a state of quiet serenity? Or should you always be in pursuit of some kind of challenge? Those questions seem like opposites, but I think they actually go together.
To me, a life well lived strikes a balance between both of those worlds. And I reject the idea that you have to choose one over the other.
My life, at times chaotic, but I feel a sense of serenity throughout it because when challenging myself with something I love. Be it travelling to somewhere I'd never been, taking on a marathon, quitting a 
job that I once considered EVERYTHING ,The stress is welcome.

More importantly, I try to take each piece of that experience for what it is—one small but manageable risk that is important for it’s own sake, able to show me something special about life regardless of 
what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow. When you embrace the idea of risk-taking and what it can do for your life, regardless of success or failure, scale becomes mostly unimportant. What looks insignificant to everyone around you can be quite life altering. And many small steps tend to add up to big ones.

The Tiny Risk-Taking Challenge

If you believe, like I do, that stepping outside of your comfort zone on daily basis and trying new things is a good way to live, then I’d like to challenge you to ask yourself the same question that I did.  Take seven cards ,for Seven days ,think about things that scares you everyday, then DO IT ! 
Then write down  how you felt when you took that risk. When the seven days are up, look through 
the cards again. Read your responses, and ask yourself: Is my life better today than it was seven days ago?
If the answer is no, then feel free to stop; nothing more is required. But if the answer is yes? Welcome to an exciting new world.


Love and light.... X
Toke



Friday 15 May 2015

Welcome to my NEW BLOG!!!





Hi There!

I'm Toke.... This is my new blog!

I decided after many months of fighting the urge of writing again that I should start this blogging thing AGAIN!

My inspiration to start over  is my wonderful 6yo daughter who is becoming a really good writer for her age, she enjoys writing little stories and making up these wonderful story lines that makes me wonder " whose child is this?" Hahaha... However I  remembered that little girl used to be me too... In primary school, I derived the most fun in cutting out my Exercise book in half, and start a story usually about a boy and a girl *raises brow* and in fact these stories would be complete with pictures! I was however disastrous at drawing..and as an adult, I'm still the same way and many many journals after... It's a confirmed hobby/passion /whatever it's called nowadays.

Back to my daughter, Alicia who told me she wants to become an Author  . I believe she can, our motto has always been " you can so anything if you put your mind to it, and work hard" .  She 's inspired me again!

I started to write a blog many years back , in 2008 if I'm correct and I did so on and off till I  just slowly drifted away from it, but Writing is a passion that I can't describe, I don't have a script or plan, It's my medicine, if I need to pour out or release some inner thoughts, writing is my sanctuary. I have fought it for a long time but I'M back!! *smug grin* ha!

However , I'm not sure which way I'm going to go discussion wise, it is called DiscussionsHQ (HQ for Head-Quarter) because I hope in time it would involve my readers too and we can have healthy
conversations. Therefore, as I did in the past, it's going to be a freestyle, that way, there's no topic off limit! I do like blogs and websites that discuss purely health or relationships or entertainment etcetera however I DONT like restrictions... We don't work well together lol

Sooo... This is it! Finally done it 😁😁 feel free to keep checking back, I will be posting updates on my social networks and feel free to share and comment as you please

Love and light.... X
Toke